Sitting here, I'm not really sure what to write about. Not sure I even want to write. Seven days to go and I think the emotional drain has settled in.
This time next week, we'll be sitting in a hotel room waiting for tomorrow to arrive. The day before the surgery, there aren't any food limitations, so we're going to let Malkolm pick what restaurant we go to (I am secretly hoping it's Italian food) for dinner. And yes, baby, you can have dessert!!
The events of the past several days have been a huge blessing, not just from the emotional and financial support coming our way, but also from the distraction this has provided me, personally. Sia is stoic. He goes to work, comes home, takes care of the kids, cleans up, never complains. ... Never complains. I watch him do his daddy thing and my heart breaks because I know what he is feeling inside -- that same heartbeat and love that embodies my son. Somehow we're going through this together and yet there are miles between us. I don't quite understand that. I love him so much it hurts.
My 4-year-old is becoming a bit more aggressive and tantrumy; I know that this whole thing is hard for her in a way that she can't express except through her behavior. It must be so confusing! I feel like I am somehow not giving her what she needs right now and that makes my heart heavy.
My protectiveness of Malkolm (and all my kids) is raging against my self-control and I'm doing what I can to hold it together. The constant stream of encouragement and prayers is definitely making a positive difference; I cannot imagine going through this whole thing without the knowledge that our child is in the hands of the ultimate surgeon.
And here I am -- writing Malkolm's blog and it seems more like therapy for me than anything else. Sorry about that. I guess I kind of knew this experience would be an emotional rollercoaster, but I am looking forward to the day when Malkolm takes over the blog and is talking about what activities he did and what books he's read, and what science experiments he wants to do because that will mean we're on the other end and we already got through all the hard stuff.
On a brighter note, Malkolm was really excited about the TV interview today, Jade B. from WALB TV was super nice, and she filmed us all a bit. (At this point, I'm convinced the camera adds more than 10 pounds ;) )
There were a couple of facts wrong in the story, but it was still a nice story, and the intention came through.
Here's a link with the video included: http://www.wmbfnews.com/Global/story.asp?S=12150701
I must say, it was painfully clear to me that I am not the one with the public speaking talent in our home. Malkolm sure does have some potential, though. At his Cub Scouts meeting tonight (the last one for a while) he told the boys all about his surgery and the Ebay listing and everything going on. After the meeting, our den leader told me that he thought Malkolm is really great at the public speaking thing -- he said Malkolm really had it together and that I should encourage that. Somehow I don't think I'm going to have to -- Malkolm was pretty pleased when I told him. Someone on the Ebay Powerseller Discussion Board had mentioned before that he could run for President some day -- I cannot think of a better candidate!! :D
Thank you for your continued support and prayers!!