The surgery is scheduled for 7 a.m. tomorrow, well, I guess that's today now. We're supposed to be there at 6:30 a.m.; it will take about an hour for Malkolm to get anesthetized and then surgery will take about three to four hours. So my guess is surgery will be at least 7:30 or later, but I'm not too worried about that.
The constant parade of physicians coming in today -- with each one having their own specialty and their job concerning Malkolm's surgery -- was oddly comforting, even when they talked about the risks.
We had another blessing tonight at dinner -- that kind of encompasses the overwhelmingly positive response we have had through this whole experience.
We went to Carrabbas italian restaurant for dinner. Malkolm chose it -- he had told us that he wanted to go there because he likes how you can dip the bread in the olive oil and eat it when you are waiting for your food. I found out on the way, though, that the reason he picked this restaurant instead of Olive Garden was because he knew I liked it. And that is SO Malkolm.
Just before we got our food, I made up an excuse to go talk to our waitress to see if they sing happy birthday or anything like some restaurants will do for people's birthdays and such. Even though his birthday is in September, surgery day is the first day of his new life, I thought it would be a neat surprise for them to sing happy birthday to him.
The waitress was standing at the hostess stand with the hostess and another waiter. She said they didn't sing, but they did have a cake and such -- I told her that was totally great and I told her about Malkolm's surgery. As it turned out, after we finished our wonderful meal about 10 waiters and waitresses not only brought the birthday dessert to him, but they also sang happy birthday to him, something they don't do, but they did it for him. They also gifted his meal, so his meal was free for us.
The immense response we receive is just like this -- from everyone. People we know, people we have never met, people who have been friends with us for years. The response is engaging and captivating and utterly humbling. People embracing him and loving him and us, (selfishly) it makes this jagged pill a little easier to swallow.
And the notes we receive, of people finding their faith again, finding inspiration in this young child's faith is probably the most life changing thing of all of this. To know that a worthy message is being passed along, a message of pure, child-like faith is truly uplifting.
I am okay with this peace that defies all understanding. I will do my best to post tomorrow to give an update. Thanks for reading and especially thanks again for caring about my little man.
So as we approach the morning, I know in about seven hours my baby will be on a table with white sheets and a whole bunch of really wonderful medical staff around him, taking a big breath when they put on the mask, then falling asleep to undergo his surgery ... and I will be in the waiting room with my family and friends, holding on to the faith he gave me to hold until he wakes up and I can give it back to him.
-Jennifer
:)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
What a Day!
The date is March 23. Tomorrow, I will have my surgery at 7 am. This morning, I had to wake up at 3 am! We were soon out the door, and on our way to Atlanta! My sister and I fell asleep within minutes. I was not surprised, because I had been working on my novel -- The Pencil Boy -- till midnight.
I woke up and went back to sleep several times. I woke up fully at about eight o'clock. After driving around for about forty minutes, we found the hospital. I was led to a room, and they took my blood pressure and I started to wait. A few doctors came in and out, giving info or papers to sign.
After about three doctors, a woman came in with a large colorful TV on wheels. It was a small screen, and at the bottom of the TV, There was what looked like a drawer that said Nintendo. After the lady left to get some VHS tapes for us to watch, I hopped off my "hospital bed" and opened the drawer. It had a VCR in it, and also had a Nintendo 64, one of those non-portable old Nintendos.
We put in Super Mario Bros. , and I was a little surprised how good the graphics were. I had expected them to be a bunch worse. It was an old Nintendo, and my mom or dad had told me how basic the graphics had been when he/she had played it.
Malia, my little sister, didn't agree with it because it wasn't a "two-player" game. She persuaded to me to pick a game called "Power Puff Girls." I actually ended up liking the game, and we played it for a long time. My dad had also played with me. He played the Power Puff Girls one and one that was football. He was an all-time champion on that one. My mom had told me that he had done it a bunch before in college or something.
As we played some of the games, we had to pause every now and then when a doctor came in. After the doctors stopped coming, I went to get my blood tested for germs (Ouch!) and got an X-ray. Then we headed to our hotel and took all of our luggage to our room. We settled in, and then here I am, typing my blog.
I woke up and went back to sleep several times. I woke up fully at about eight o'clock. After driving around for about forty minutes, we found the hospital. I was led to a room, and they took my blood pressure and I started to wait. A few doctors came in and out, giving info or papers to sign.
After about three doctors, a woman came in with a large colorful TV on wheels. It was a small screen, and at the bottom of the TV, There was what looked like a drawer that said Nintendo. After the lady left to get some VHS tapes for us to watch, I hopped off my "hospital bed" and opened the drawer. It had a VCR in it, and also had a Nintendo 64, one of those non-portable old Nintendos.
We put in Super Mario Bros. , and I was a little surprised how good the graphics were. I had expected them to be a bunch worse. It was an old Nintendo, and my mom or dad had told me how basic the graphics had been when he/she had played it.
Malia, my little sister, didn't agree with it because it wasn't a "two-player" game. She persuaded to me to pick a game called "Power Puff Girls." I actually ended up liking the game, and we played it for a long time. My dad had also played with me. He played the Power Puff Girls one and one that was football. He was an all-time champion on that one. My mom had told me that he had done it a bunch before in college or something.
As we played some of the games, we had to pause every now and then when a doctor came in. After the doctors stopped coming, I went to get my blood tested for germs (Ouch!) and got an X-ray. Then we headed to our hotel and took all of our luggage to our room. We settled in, and then here I am, typing my blog.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Two Days Now
Well, we are packing, doing laundry, getting everything ready to spend two weeks in a home away from home. We found a wonderful deal -- a nice hotel not far from the hospital (5 minutes) for $70 a night. We thought it would be easier to stay in one place than to stay in the Ronald McDonald house for one or two nights and then have to move out to another place. I'm thinking about my mental state yet to come. Scary thought.
Yesterday at church, the congregation prayed over Malkolm and Sia and me. It was a refreshing, spiritually uplifting experience. Seems it came just in time. Malkolm was a bit overwhelmed by it all. Sometimes I forget he is 9.
Just before we went up to pray I had a moment of breakdown. The music was echoing in my ears, my heart heavy and aching. Every time my heart beats it sounds so loud in my ears and I wish so badly that I could give it to Malkolm. Give those heart beats to that precious little boy. My baby.
I prayed, pleaded. God, please don't take my baby. Please please please don't need him now. Please give him back to me healed and whole. I need to hold his hand tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. I need to see him get excited on Christmas morning and tell me it's okay that we didn't have a birthday party for him again this year. I want to hear him comfort his little sister as she's crying, telling her that just because she has a timeout it doesn't mean Momma doesn't love her. That everything will be okay. I want to hug his future wife and cradle his children in my arms, to marvel how much they look like their daddy. Oh God please don't take my baby, please don't need him now. I need him now. I need him.
I know this is not the faith I claim to profess speaking. This is something else. Something that doesn't come from God, but from my flesh. And it's getting harder and harder to quiet this. But I can say, after we prayed yesterday. With the whole congregation agreeing with us in prayer, I felt like my son had a shield on his chest. Over his heart. A protection that wasn't there before. And I'm going to hold onto that as long as I can.
On a brighter note, we found a story this week that he had written just before he started first grade. It was cool to see how much his writing has progressed since then. I will paste in in below. For those of you who have purchased his story Luna -- you will see a big difference in his use of descriptive language and general flow of the story. It's kind of cool to see that progression.
My heart is heavy, but my spirit is light. I am tired though. Really, really tired. Not because I can't sleep -- there's just so much to do. When my head hits the pillow, I am literally asleep within just a couple of minutes.
Just trying to close most of my ebay listings and give all the necessary connection information to my creative firm partners so they can keep up with clients while I'm away. Thanks to my awesome neighbor and friend, I don't have to close all my listings, as she will be processing my orders for me. Can't thank you enough Jean!!!
We got the cost for the genetic testing today. $5,400. Gotta say that was a bit of a punch in the gut. I think insurance will pay 60% if it gets approved, but that still leaves $2,160 per child. PER CHILD?!! Ahhh, goodness. So how do you chose between paying your bills and making sure your children aren't in danger? Why is this all so expensive?
Malkolm's story has been a smashing success. I know I'm biased, I am his mother. He is my baby, this little person whose heart has grown as big as his body, his heart that ironically is fighting against him every day also represents the care and generosity that he has always shown to others and the feeling that he puts into his writing.
He is wondering if someone will see it who might want to publish it for real. Wouldn't that be swell? I guess time will tell.
ok, well, I need to go get another box of tissues, and I think Malkolm and I are going to play a game of chess. One of many more to come over the next couple of weeks.
MUCH LOVE to you -- thank you for sharing this experience with our family. Thank you for your prayers, your gifts but most of all, thank you for your love. The love you've shown for my son is something that I will never forget no matter how long I live.
-Jennifer
Oh, almost forgot about the story. It's called DragonCatcher.
Malkolm Poyer
8-8-2007
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, on a mountain a dragon was born. All the dragons that were flying around gathered. The dragon catcher stole the baby dragon. But on the way, the dragon bit the dragon catcher and the dragon catcher dropped the dragon by accident. The dragon dropped into a trash can in an alley.
In the alley of the city, two teenagers lived. They were orphans. The dragon was in the alley. It was a baby dragon. The teenagers found the baby dragon, but thought it was a lizard.
And day after day, the teenagers fed the “lizard.” And one day the teenagers saw the dragon grow, and grow. First they saw the dragon grow its big, spiky tail. Then they saw its big feet with sharp claws. And then they saw its big, scaly, skinny wings. Finally they saw its big head with sharp teeth.
“Hello,” said the dragon.
“Who said that?” said the teenagers.
“Me” said the dragon.
“You, the lizard? It can’t be!” said the teenagers.
“I’m not a lizard, I’m a dragon.”
Meanwhile . . . in the dragon catcher’s lair, “I’m going to kill a dragon,” said the dragon catcher, “with my secret weapon, the Dragon Killer 3000. Ha! Ha! The dragons couldn’t stand this there are lasers and everything ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Chapter 2
“Hello,” said the children.
“Do you want to play?” said the dragon.
“Yes!” said the teenagers.
“Come on!” said the dragon.
“Let’s play ball!” said the teenagers.
All of the sudden the dragon catcher flew by. “Woah!” said the dragon. “Hop on!”
“What’s the matter?” said the teenagers.
“This guy called the “dragon catcher” just flew by said the dragon.
“Oh, ok, let’s go!” said the teenagers.
Chapter 3
“Fly down there me and my sister will distract the dragon catcher while you sneak up on him and eat him ok?”
“Ok!” said the dragon. The dragon flew down, the teenagers got off and distracted the dragon catcher, and the dragon ate the dragon catcher. The dragon said, “Thank you, you saved all the dragons and me! Do you want to come with me?”
“Yes!” said the teenagers.
THE END
Yesterday at church, the congregation prayed over Malkolm and Sia and me. It was a refreshing, spiritually uplifting experience. Seems it came just in time. Malkolm was a bit overwhelmed by it all. Sometimes I forget he is 9.
Just before we went up to pray I had a moment of breakdown. The music was echoing in my ears, my heart heavy and aching. Every time my heart beats it sounds so loud in my ears and I wish so badly that I could give it to Malkolm. Give those heart beats to that precious little boy. My baby.
I prayed, pleaded. God, please don't take my baby. Please please please don't need him now. Please give him back to me healed and whole. I need to hold his hand tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. I need to see him get excited on Christmas morning and tell me it's okay that we didn't have a birthday party for him again this year. I want to hear him comfort his little sister as she's crying, telling her that just because she has a timeout it doesn't mean Momma doesn't love her. That everything will be okay. I want to hug his future wife and cradle his children in my arms, to marvel how much they look like their daddy. Oh God please don't take my baby, please don't need him now. I need him now. I need him.
I know this is not the faith I claim to profess speaking. This is something else. Something that doesn't come from God, but from my flesh. And it's getting harder and harder to quiet this. But I can say, after we prayed yesterday. With the whole congregation agreeing with us in prayer, I felt like my son had a shield on his chest. Over his heart. A protection that wasn't there before. And I'm going to hold onto that as long as I can.
On a brighter note, we found a story this week that he had written just before he started first grade. It was cool to see how much his writing has progressed since then. I will paste in in below. For those of you who have purchased his story Luna -- you will see a big difference in his use of descriptive language and general flow of the story. It's kind of cool to see that progression.
My heart is heavy, but my spirit is light. I am tired though. Really, really tired. Not because I can't sleep -- there's just so much to do. When my head hits the pillow, I am literally asleep within just a couple of minutes.
Just trying to close most of my ebay listings and give all the necessary connection information to my creative firm partners so they can keep up with clients while I'm away. Thanks to my awesome neighbor and friend, I don't have to close all my listings, as she will be processing my orders for me. Can't thank you enough Jean!!!
We got the cost for the genetic testing today. $5,400. Gotta say that was a bit of a punch in the gut. I think insurance will pay 60% if it gets approved, but that still leaves $2,160 per child. PER CHILD?!! Ahhh, goodness. So how do you chose between paying your bills and making sure your children aren't in danger? Why is this all so expensive?
Malkolm's story has been a smashing success. I know I'm biased, I am his mother. He is my baby, this little person whose heart has grown as big as his body, his heart that ironically is fighting against him every day also represents the care and generosity that he has always shown to others and the feeling that he puts into his writing.
He is wondering if someone will see it who might want to publish it for real. Wouldn't that be swell? I guess time will tell.
ok, well, I need to go get another box of tissues, and I think Malkolm and I are going to play a game of chess. One of many more to come over the next couple of weeks.
MUCH LOVE to you -- thank you for sharing this experience with our family. Thank you for your prayers, your gifts but most of all, thank you for your love. The love you've shown for my son is something that I will never forget no matter how long I live.
-Jennifer
Oh, almost forgot about the story. It's called DragonCatcher.
Malkolm Poyer
8-8-2007
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, on a mountain a dragon was born. All the dragons that were flying around gathered. The dragon catcher stole the baby dragon. But on the way, the dragon bit the dragon catcher and the dragon catcher dropped the dragon by accident. The dragon dropped into a trash can in an alley.
In the alley of the city, two teenagers lived. They were orphans. The dragon was in the alley. It was a baby dragon. The teenagers found the baby dragon, but thought it was a lizard.
And day after day, the teenagers fed the “lizard.” And one day the teenagers saw the dragon grow, and grow. First they saw the dragon grow its big, spiky tail. Then they saw its big feet with sharp claws. And then they saw its big, scaly, skinny wings. Finally they saw its big head with sharp teeth.
“Hello,” said the dragon.
“Who said that?” said the teenagers.
“Me” said the dragon.
“You, the lizard? It can’t be!” said the teenagers.
“I’m not a lizard, I’m a dragon.”
Meanwhile . . . in the dragon catcher’s lair, “I’m going to kill a dragon,” said the dragon catcher, “with my secret weapon, the Dragon Killer 3000. Ha! Ha! The dragons couldn’t stand this there are lasers and everything ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Chapter 2
“Hello,” said the children.
“Do you want to play?” said the dragon.
“Yes!” said the teenagers.
“Come on!” said the dragon.
“Let’s play ball!” said the teenagers.
All of the sudden the dragon catcher flew by. “Woah!” said the dragon. “Hop on!”
“What’s the matter?” said the teenagers.
“This guy called the “dragon catcher” just flew by said the dragon.
“Oh, ok, let’s go!” said the teenagers.
Chapter 3
“Fly down there me and my sister will distract the dragon catcher while you sneak up on him and eat him ok?”
“Ok!” said the dragon. The dragon flew down, the teenagers got off and distracted the dragon catcher, and the dragon ate the dragon catcher. The dragon said, “Thank you, you saved all the dragons and me! Do you want to come with me?”
“Yes!” said the teenagers.
THE END
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Far From Home
I am not digging this being away from my son thing. I know that we're not that far, but as far as my feelings go, we may as well be in Siberia. I was actually okay until we got back in the room tonight and I started processing orders, and replying to people who purchased Malkolm's story today. I'm not feeling strong at all right now. For the first time, I broke down thinking about the process Malkolm will go through.
We'll be right there with him when he goes to sleep, his chest the same as it always has been, and then we'll be there when he wakes up. To hold his little hand as he sleeps in that healing sleep with the fingernails that are just a little too long with small hints of remnants of dirt from the playground he hasn't been able to play on for a while. To run my fingers through his mohawk as it outgrows it's original style, looking more like a mullet. To watch his chest with a new line down the middle of it rise and fall as the machine breathes for him for two days. To see the tubes, drains, IVs ...
I don't know why I allowed myself to start thinking about this -- in a way, it felt good to let myself go there, but just like giving in to anger -- it tastes good for a bit and then after a few bites, I realize it's rancid. There are so many doubts I feel like I want to voice, but I don't want to give it life; I can't give it life. I don't want to sign for that package -- it needs to go.
I have to remind myself that the only difference between worry and meditation is the subject matter. It seems I am not listening to my own advice.
I must say it is much harder here, without the kids, without my husband. We go back tomorrow night. At this point I wish I could plug in like Neo in "The Matrix" and just get it all at once and then go home. Sometimes a momma just needs kid hugs and wet, sloppy baby kisses -- or to just to sit quietly with her husband on the couch, her head on his shoulder, feeling his strength seeping into her.
Sweet dreams my little prince.
-Jennifer
:)
We'll be right there with him when he goes to sleep, his chest the same as it always has been, and then we'll be there when he wakes up. To hold his little hand as he sleeps in that healing sleep with the fingernails that are just a little too long with small hints of remnants of dirt from the playground he hasn't been able to play on for a while. To run my fingers through his mohawk as it outgrows it's original style, looking more like a mullet. To watch his chest with a new line down the middle of it rise and fall as the machine breathes for him for two days. To see the tubes, drains, IVs ...
I don't know why I allowed myself to start thinking about this -- in a way, it felt good to let myself go there, but just like giving in to anger -- it tastes good for a bit and then after a few bites, I realize it's rancid. There are so many doubts I feel like I want to voice, but I don't want to give it life; I can't give it life. I don't want to sign for that package -- it needs to go.
I have to remind myself that the only difference between worry and meditation is the subject matter. It seems I am not listening to my own advice.
I must say it is much harder here, without the kids, without my husband. We go back tomorrow night. At this point I wish I could plug in like Neo in "The Matrix" and just get it all at once and then go home. Sometimes a momma just needs kid hugs and wet, sloppy baby kisses -- or to just to sit quietly with her husband on the couch, her head on his shoulder, feeling his strength seeping into her.
Sweet dreams my little prince.
-Jennifer
:)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Trip to Atlanta
I'm a growly bear today. I'm finding that I'm angry though I'm not really sure why. Gotta say I'm about emotioned out.
I'm headed to Atlanta tomorrow for an Ebay thing. Going to learn more about how to manage my Ebay store. I registered a while ago, and it's non-refundable, non-transferrable and am going up with a friend who also sells on Ebay. I'll be back Saturday night, but I can say that it's not lost on me that my next trip that way will be for a whole different reason.
It's going to be a nice drive with plenty of Red Bull and chit chat which will be a help when it comes to dealing with things, I think.
Someone sent this to me today:
Hello, this is God. I want you to know I am here,
and I am taking care of everything today. So, there is no need to worry.
-God
I think that says just about everything I wanna say.
-Jennifer
I'm headed to Atlanta tomorrow for an Ebay thing. Going to learn more about how to manage my Ebay store. I registered a while ago, and it's non-refundable, non-transferrable and am going up with a friend who also sells on Ebay. I'll be back Saturday night, but I can say that it's not lost on me that my next trip that way will be for a whole different reason.
It's going to be a nice drive with plenty of Red Bull and chit chat which will be a help when it comes to dealing with things, I think.
Someone sent this to me today:
Hello, this is God. I want you to know I am here,
and I am taking care of everything today. So, there is no need to worry.
-God
I think that says just about everything I wanna say.
-Jennifer
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sometimes it Takes a Sledghammer
I took my daughter to her 9-month well-baby check-up this morning. Above average across the board, and like her big brother Malkolm, her head measurement is off the chart. heh. She looks so much like him when he was a baby. I've become accustomed to calling her Malkolm's Twinkie lately. Looking at her is like looking in a reverse Malkolm mirror.
I was on the way home from this appointment, and I became fully aware how much encouragement and support we were receiving and the feeling of being so unworthy really hit me hard. Not the safest thing in all the land, to be driving in the rain and crying with my mom asking me every couple of minutes if I wanted her to drive (sorry I made you nervous mama!). It is truly overwhelming how people are unabashedly giving of themselves, caring about our son and our family. ... Willing to extend themselves beyond their own circles of comfort to help repair and bolster ours.
How is it possible that these people who are blessing us with their prayers, gifts, letters, words of encouragement are feeling blessed themselves? Someone buying Malkolm's story or giving us gifts and thanking US? It really doesn't make any sense, you know?
How can one be clearly taking so much, and yet both feel as though they are getting the better end of the deal?
And then I remembered that when God is involved, when God is in the center of any relationship that there is fulfillment on both ends. Both parties feel like they are sucking each other dry and yet both come away more complete and fulfilled than before. Another BIG clue for me that God is controlling all of this. Not just on surgery day. Not just today or tomorrow, but 10 years ago, and 10 years from now.
If that's not some kind of special miracle, I don't know what is.
Sometimes when you can't see the forest through the trees, it takes a little tap with a sledgehammer to open your eyes. I guess sometimes a sledgehammer comes in many forms. Why does it take a sledgehammer for me to realize that I have to let go and let God? I KNOW it doesn't matter what doctor is doing the surgery, if he has only done one other surgery like Malkolm's, or if he has done a million of them. Malkolm is in the hands of the Ultimate Surgeon and God is in the middle of all of this.
Comforting indeed.
-Jennifer
:)
I was on the way home from this appointment, and I became fully aware how much encouragement and support we were receiving and the feeling of being so unworthy really hit me hard. Not the safest thing in all the land, to be driving in the rain and crying with my mom asking me every couple of minutes if I wanted her to drive (sorry I made you nervous mama!). It is truly overwhelming how people are unabashedly giving of themselves, caring about our son and our family. ... Willing to extend themselves beyond their own circles of comfort to help repair and bolster ours.
How is it possible that these people who are blessing us with their prayers, gifts, letters, words of encouragement are feeling blessed themselves? Someone buying Malkolm's story or giving us gifts and thanking US? It really doesn't make any sense, you know?
How can one be clearly taking so much, and yet both feel as though they are getting the better end of the deal?
And then I remembered that when God is involved, when God is in the center of any relationship that there is fulfillment on both ends. Both parties feel like they are sucking each other dry and yet both come away more complete and fulfilled than before. Another BIG clue for me that God is controlling all of this. Not just on surgery day. Not just today or tomorrow, but 10 years ago, and 10 years from now.
If that's not some kind of special miracle, I don't know what is.
Sometimes when you can't see the forest through the trees, it takes a little tap with a sledgehammer to open your eyes. I guess sometimes a sledgehammer comes in many forms. Why does it take a sledgehammer for me to realize that I have to let go and let God? I KNOW it doesn't matter what doctor is doing the surgery, if he has only done one other surgery like Malkolm's, or if he has done a million of them. Malkolm is in the hands of the Ultimate Surgeon and God is in the middle of all of this.
Comforting indeed.
-Jennifer
:)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Seven Days to Go - We Were on TV
Sitting here, I'm not really sure what to write about. Not sure I even want to write. Seven days to go and I think the emotional drain has settled in.
This time next week, we'll be sitting in a hotel room waiting for tomorrow to arrive. The day before the surgery, there aren't any food limitations, so we're going to let Malkolm pick what restaurant we go to (I am secretly hoping it's Italian food) for dinner. And yes, baby, you can have dessert!!
The events of the past several days have been a huge blessing, not just from the emotional and financial support coming our way, but also from the distraction this has provided me, personally. Sia is stoic. He goes to work, comes home, takes care of the kids, cleans up, never complains. ... Never complains. I watch him do his daddy thing and my heart breaks because I know what he is feeling inside -- that same heartbeat and love that embodies my son. Somehow we're going through this together and yet there are miles between us. I don't quite understand that. I love him so much it hurts.
My 4-year-old is becoming a bit more aggressive and tantrumy; I know that this whole thing is hard for her in a way that she can't express except through her behavior. It must be so confusing! I feel like I am somehow not giving her what she needs right now and that makes my heart heavy.
My protectiveness of Malkolm (and all my kids) is raging against my self-control and I'm doing what I can to hold it together. The constant stream of encouragement and prayers is definitely making a positive difference; I cannot imagine going through this whole thing without the knowledge that our child is in the hands of the ultimate surgeon.
And here I am -- writing Malkolm's blog and it seems more like therapy for me than anything else. Sorry about that. I guess I kind of knew this experience would be an emotional rollercoaster, but I am looking forward to the day when Malkolm takes over the blog and is talking about what activities he did and what books he's read, and what science experiments he wants to do because that will mean we're on the other end and we already got through all the hard stuff.
On a brighter note, Malkolm was really excited about the TV interview today, Jade B. from WALB TV was super nice, and she filmed us all a bit. (At this point, I'm convinced the camera adds more than 10 pounds ;) )
There were a couple of facts wrong in the story, but it was still a nice story, and the intention came through.
Here's a link with the video included: http://www.wmbfnews.com/Global/story.asp?S=12150701
I must say, it was painfully clear to me that I am not the one with the public speaking talent in our home. Malkolm sure does have some potential, though. At his Cub Scouts meeting tonight (the last one for a while) he told the boys all about his surgery and the Ebay listing and everything going on. After the meeting, our den leader told me that he thought Malkolm is really great at the public speaking thing -- he said Malkolm really had it together and that I should encourage that. Somehow I don't think I'm going to have to -- Malkolm was pretty pleased when I told him. Someone on the Ebay Powerseller Discussion Board had mentioned before that he could run for President some day -- I cannot think of a better candidate!! :D
Thank you for your continued support and prayers!!
Jennifer
This time next week, we'll be sitting in a hotel room waiting for tomorrow to arrive. The day before the surgery, there aren't any food limitations, so we're going to let Malkolm pick what restaurant we go to (I am secretly hoping it's Italian food) for dinner. And yes, baby, you can have dessert!!
The events of the past several days have been a huge blessing, not just from the emotional and financial support coming our way, but also from the distraction this has provided me, personally. Sia is stoic. He goes to work, comes home, takes care of the kids, cleans up, never complains. ... Never complains. I watch him do his daddy thing and my heart breaks because I know what he is feeling inside -- that same heartbeat and love that embodies my son. Somehow we're going through this together and yet there are miles between us. I don't quite understand that. I love him so much it hurts.
My 4-year-old is becoming a bit more aggressive and tantrumy; I know that this whole thing is hard for her in a way that she can't express except through her behavior. It must be so confusing! I feel like I am somehow not giving her what she needs right now and that makes my heart heavy.
My protectiveness of Malkolm (and all my kids) is raging against my self-control and I'm doing what I can to hold it together. The constant stream of encouragement and prayers is definitely making a positive difference; I cannot imagine going through this whole thing without the knowledge that our child is in the hands of the ultimate surgeon.
And here I am -- writing Malkolm's blog and it seems more like therapy for me than anything else. Sorry about that. I guess I kind of knew this experience would be an emotional rollercoaster, but I am looking forward to the day when Malkolm takes over the blog and is talking about what activities he did and what books he's read, and what science experiments he wants to do because that will mean we're on the other end and we already got through all the hard stuff.
On a brighter note, Malkolm was really excited about the TV interview today, Jade B. from WALB TV was super nice, and she filmed us all a bit. (At this point, I'm convinced the camera adds more than 10 pounds ;) )
There were a couple of facts wrong in the story, but it was still a nice story, and the intention came through.
Here's a link with the video included: http://www.wmbfnews.com/Global/story.asp?S=12150701
I must say, it was painfully clear to me that I am not the one with the public speaking talent in our home. Malkolm sure does have some potential, though. At his Cub Scouts meeting tonight (the last one for a while) he told the boys all about his surgery and the Ebay listing and everything going on. After the meeting, our den leader told me that he thought Malkolm is really great at the public speaking thing -- he said Malkolm really had it together and that I should encourage that. Somehow I don't think I'm going to have to -- Malkolm was pretty pleased when I told him. Someone on the Ebay Powerseller Discussion Board had mentioned before that he could run for President some day -- I cannot think of a better candidate!! :D
Thank you for your continued support and prayers!!
Jennifer
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